https://bit.ly/3JaD0It https://bit.ly/3GuGzI1 https://bit.ly/3Hx1M5g https://bit.ly/3GHFUTK https://bit.ly/3st3MVQ https://bit.ly/3rAyBsE https://bit.ly/34o5yj7 https://bit.ly/3JaD377 https://bit.ly/34vdQFM https://bit.ly/3uDRiNR The power in a BDSM relationship is in the hands of the submissive, whereas the power in a Taken In Hand relationship is in the hands of the leader. Many Taken In Hand couples do make use of paraphernalia borrowed from the BDSM world, such as safewords, and they shouldn't have to face charges of inauthenticity because of that. The difference is that Taken In Hand relationships are not required to use the borrowed paraphernalia. If a Taken In Hand couple decides not to use a safeword or if the dominant acts in a way that is not in service of the submissive, they have stepped beyond the bounds of a BDSM relationship. The freedom to step outside those bounds is a wonderous gift that a BDSM relationship cannot give. BTW: a Taken In Hand relationship is perfectly authentic even if safewords and other boundaries are always in place and always respected. You don't have to use all of the freedoms of a Taken In Hand relationship in order to enjoy them. Likewise, a BDSM relationship in which the safeword is never spoken is perfectly valid as long as the safeword is always available. To expand on my comment above: The power in a BDSM relationship is in the hands of the submissive even if the submissive never uses it, whereas the power in a Taken In Hand relationship is in the hands of the leader even if the leader never uses it. A whip is powerful even if it forever remains hanging on the wall and a fire extinguisher affords safety even if you never use it to put out a fire. by Carlfbyanothername on 2005 Apr 20 - 18:33 | reply to this comment Authority and abuse |